Money and Goals

I am sure none of us are issue free when it comes to money.  I'm not sure that it is possible. But how you navigate your issues is important, and how you communicate about money is as important as every other facet of your partnership or marriage with another person. Money can be about control, security, reliability, fear, and love. And all this for something that is, in itself, worthless.

For DH and I, he's never really been interested in money. I find it fascinating. And, since I am the stay-at-home-parent, I think it's my responsibility to design the budget, meal plan, and make sure we're running Okay. And do all that stuff. I have no problems saying "our" money when it comes to the income DH earns. It is our money. I've worked just as hard, though in a different way, for it. But really, it's the household's money, not ours. We get an allowance each month, just like the kids will when they are old enough. That is a personal "our" money. The money DH earns through his workplace is household money.

We have one mortgage, one linked bank account, one linked credit card, and a couple of accounts we rarely use. That's it. We're doing especially okay when you consider we bought this house eleven years ago. It's worth about three times what we paid for it last time we checked. So when we needed to extend the mortgage, the banks have been perfectly fine with that idea!

Our basic theory is that we both work for the family unit. DH's work results in payments, and my work results in happiness, full bellies, security and savings. We both work together to make the family unit whole. Money is only one aspect of this, and we share responsibilities equally.

Part of the problem is that when I want to save, I want to run out and do stuff to save stuff now! I'm a doing type of person. I want to get out and do! Now! But saving doesn't work like that. Saving is having a system, and sticking to it, even when it's boring, or annoying, or doesn't make you feel any excitement. Our big projects make me excited. Travelling makes me excited. Experiences, hotels, strangers, writing... all of these make me excited. Sitting around not spending money does not get me excited.

But now I have something exciting in mind, so I am going to weigh every purchase against it. I have a firecracker! In a personal place! To remind me... how much do I want this thing? Do I want this more than I want to go to San Diego?